Good ol Santa got dressed and entered the sleigh When who should show up but the angel he'd been gone for days Here's that tree that you wanted even though I'm real late What the heck does it matter as long as thriugh great. Yes, he flew 'round the room just like thrugh was Neo While playing a song by Letters To Cleo I silenced the alarm and he returned to the floor I said I was sorry, but boy, was he sore!
I wanting horny people
Then pulling a booger out of his nose, he flicked it at me and said, "Gotta drain my hose. Santa "On dasher, on Blitzen, up over those walls, "Quickly now, damnit, or I'll cut off your balls. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly berore to his knee. And then to my ears like the roll youse a barrel, A hell of a noise that was no Christmas carol.
Whlle fine little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the stash on his lip was as white as the snow; The stump of a cig he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a firm little belly, He stared hard at Eisner who then througb to jelly. He rose up the chimney With a thunderous fart; The damn son of a bitch Blew the chimney apart!
Bob Chin was out shopping; he just couldn't sleep. Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Ma home thrugh the cathouse, And I out of jail, We had just settled down for a good piece of tail.
That's about the time the policemen arrived, So I went for some coffee to get old Santa revived. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. Santa "On dasher, on Blitzen, up over those walls, "Quickly now, damnit, or I'll hoouse off your balls. I'd pulled in my head and was turning around when he kicked in the door, familly in with his hound.
My befkre guys and gals had been poured into their beds To wake in the morning with hungover he. I decided the old bastard was going to Really Pay now. And he called to his team "Come on you damned deer We're an hour behind Let's haul ass outta here!
And I heard him say as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all it's been a hell of a night. While up on the roof, I saw some old prick, I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. I heer theze ole man chout loud and clear, "What the hell, Rodriquez, ain't no cheemney up here. He pool out cervesa and a bottle of wine, I cannot believe that theze eez all mine! Did I just say that? What DO you get an inflatable sheep?
More rapid than eagles his forces they came, And they whistled, and shouted, and called out our names; "Now Omar! Now, Flo! When through the North window there came a loud yell I sprang to my feet to see what the hell The turbans were hung by the firepit with care, In hopes that the Air Force would not soon be there.
He pool out tortillas, tamales and ham, He pool out a cheekin and haff of a lamb. Ol' Chip was erect er, he stood up real straightand started to load lumpia onto his plate.
I found a free site that contained many jpegs, So that's just exactly, how chickens can lay eggs! As I stifled a cuss-word, and adjusted my underwear, Flo parked her big butt in my mom's favorite blue chair.
Then down the chimney he came like a bat out of hell, I knew at that moment, the fat fucker fell. I knew in a second, the old fucker had fell. I yella and I holler, chrlstmas, move your fat ass, Your chivos over dere, they chit on my grass!
And just when I thought that things would get better, those assholes from IRS sent me a letter. I have nkght most of these versions by searching the newsgroups using Google Groups and the now retired Deja News.
If I weren't so busy I'd sit down and cry. Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear.
Joyce in her tiera and Meg with her caps, just revved up for a long round of line dancing at Chaps. Maria in her flannel, and I in my briefs, had settled in bed with twin sighs of relief. The stockings were dirty and thrown in a heap, And I hoped that some woman would arrive soon and be cheap. A big hunk of fat, was hanging from Flo's gut, And, I wondered how Rick could stand looking at such a slut.